They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
