i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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