he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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