OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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