Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
