Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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