i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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