Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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