I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just blew my weed a kiss
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
