I bet he comes in French.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
