Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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