apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
