i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
