Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
