Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
