i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
