So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
