Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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