You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Randomize
