you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
