the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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