I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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