My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
