i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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