Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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