Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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