Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
is it fun? or sober?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
