I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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