while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
