"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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