Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
