just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
