I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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