You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
