It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
