I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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