I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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