it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I enjoy the company of your penis
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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