she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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