Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
