My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
