im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
