God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This baby is an asshole
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
