this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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