Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There r osticjed everywhere
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
