How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
