hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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