these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
