I want to have your abortion
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
