it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
