**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
